24 Ways to Make Adulting Easier and More Fun
Take better care of yourself and others using these tried-and-true tips. (Number 21 is a particular fave in my household.)
My favorite fucklings, it is mid-May, and that means graduation season is upon us!
As such, and in honor of the Class of 2024, this week I’m sharing some of my top pro-dult tips, drawn from my book Grow the Fuck Up: How to Be an Adult and Get Treated Like One.
This post is public, so feel free to share it with recent/upcoming grads—or really anyone in your life who’s in need of some primo adulting advice, regardless of their chronological age or recent/upcoming educational milestones.
(It’s pretty darn universal, if I do say so myself.)
In other news: last week’s “Paid Perks Poll” came down overwhelmingly in favor of trying out the open chat option instead of continuing with our individual Thursday Threads.
So I’m going to fool around with that on my end, and—assuming all goes well—launch our first NFG chat this week, for paid subscribers. I believe you will get an email when the chat opens, but you will NOT get individual emails every time someone comments. Yikes.
Here are some links if you need more guidance on how to join/mute/leave the chat, etc. As you know, I am a fan of setting and enforcing boundaries, so I encourage you to configure and re-configure at will!
24 Adulting Tips in Honor of the Class of 2024
1. Always plan for overages.
From recipes to renovations, everything is going to take longer and cost more than everybody tells you it will. Every. Fucking. Time.
2. Get yourself a bottle of Goo Gone to keep under the kitchen sink.
That shit is magic. So long, sticky price tag residue on the bottoms of each and every IKEA coffee mug you own! (It’s not going to come off in the dishwasher, no matter how many times you try.)
3. Take the high road.
I realize this may seem easier said than done, but trust me, there is no better feeling than depriving some absolute jackwagon of the privilege of seeing you break. (See also: The Power No.)
4. Learn how to replace a toilet seat.
Changing a tire may be an archetypical example of adulting prowess—and is certainly a useful skill—but for what it’s worth, I am forty-five years old and I’ve been present for only two tire blowouts in my entire life. Malfunctioning toilet seats, on the other hand? YOU’D BE SURPRISED.
5. Two words: packing cubes.
Want to go on a gap year with a single carryon that allows you to easily plunk your stuff into a drawer and pluck it back out again every time you change tiki huts/Airbnbs? These li’l zippered wizards are your new best friends.
6. There is an icon next to the dashboard fuel gauge that indicates which side of the car the gas tank is on.
Sorcery!
7. Don’t overcommit.
Successful, well-respected adults do what they said they would do, when they said they would do it—which is much easier when “what you said you would do” was eminently manageable in the first place. BOOM. (Bonus: under-committing means you’ve got more opportunity to overdeliver in the end. Not strictly necessary for top-of-the-line adulting, but a neat trick.)
8. Manage expectations.
If and when you realize you’re not going to be able to do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it, then let people know what’s going on ASAP. Because the only thing worse than somebody you can’t depend on is someone who could have given you a heads up—and didn’t.
9. Moisturize early and often.
For the love of collagen, listen to a middle-aged person who deeply regrets not listening to the middle-aged people who came before.
10. Remember that your internal organs are getting older, too.
Do all y’all a favor and take the ibuprofen/guzzle three glasses of water before you go to sleep after a big night out. Waiting until the next morning is too little, too late for your hardworking adult liver.
11. Playing house is all fun and games until somebody breaks a wine glass or takes a cheese grater to the knuckles.
You’d do well to keep your grownup lair stocked with first-aid essentials—or at least try to associate with people who do, as my friend Liz learned the day she called up to inquire “if you guys have any really big Band-Aids?” (We did.)
12. Learn how to take criticism and compliments.
The former is essential for maintaining your relationships and reputation, and the latter just feels good.
13. Check your work!
Do I sound like my father, a retired middle-school teacher? Yes. But accidentally ordering the wrong size sofa or booking nonrefundable plane tickets for the wrong day are no fun, son.
14. Be a considerate guest.
If you spend the weekend or longer at someone else’s house and you have the means to cook or buy dinner one night, do that. If you can’t, then at least do the dishes.
15. Related: invest in an apron (and use it).
I promise this will save you a tragic collection of oil stains on your favorite shirts and a fortune in dry-cleaning bills.
16. When it’s time to furnish your own place, keep in mind the proximity of likely sale weekends.
For example, if you’re willing to sweat through your sheets in June, then biding your time to get Best Buy’s Fourth of July 40%-Off discount on an A/C unit is a Total Adult Move.
17. Don’t start a job until you have all the materials on site and in working order.
This goes for all kinds of projects, from baking a pie to painting a room to building out that DIY “EasyCloset” system you ordered. The worst time to find out you need a hacksaw that you do not already own is at 10:00 p.m. on Sunday night without an open Home Depot in sight. (Ask me how I know.)
18. No matter what some well-meaning gal in a YouTube tutorial tries to tell you, life is too short to be attempting to fold fitted sheets.
Just shove ’em in a drawer and go on with your day. I’ll never tell.
19. Sending thank-you notes is a superpower.
A text or email is fine, but boy oh boy will a genuine piece of physical mail go a long way toward making someone else’s day. Plus, the act of writing out your appreciation is an exercise in gratitude, a practice that will serve you well in this wild and precious life.
20. A decent vacuum cleaner is a friend for life, and a cordless hand-held will do in a pinch.
I love my Shark WANDVAC more than most people love their children. There, I said it.
21. Understand that two things can be true AT THE SAME TIME.
Like, the hotel room can be too cold for you and also too hot for your partner, who is actually a bag of hot rocks disguised as a human. You could fight about it, or you could just call down for an extra blanket for your side of the bed.
22. Admitting you were wrong is adult AF.
And contrary to what multi-Grammy Award-winning artist Timbaland would have you believe, it’s never too late to apologize.
23. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Knowledge is power, but so is knowing your limits. Boop.
24. If you find yourself on the wrong end of a case of hemorrhoids and in need of one of those donut butt pillows, it turns out that a child-sized inflatable inner tube works equally well and is less embarrassing to ring up at the checkout counter.
Just trust me on that one.
And good luck out there, kids! I’m rooting for you.
Become a VIF (Very Important Fuckling)
For 7+ years, everyone on my email list has received my free NFG Newsletter and occasional random AF musings, and I am thrilled to have you all here. Thank you for being among the original fucklings!
As you may know, last fall I added a paid option for those who want more (and more regular) dispatches from NFG HQ:
The “VIF” subscription includes weekly tips & advice, personal essays, full access to the comments and archive, and entry into my *new* private NFG chat.
Again though, I appreciate you being here in any capacity. Frankly, the idea that one single person cares to be on the receiving end of my sweary life advice and/or tales of my ungrateful trash cats and consumption of prestige TV—let alone many thousands of you—is WILD.
I hope you’ll continue to stick around, and perhaps join the VIF squad if and when your Fuck Budget allows you the time, energy, and money to do so.
We have fun.
Sarah
My #1 bit of advice on getting older, esp to 20-ish:
"You know how you KNOW you'll feel like an adult someday, and that will help you BE an adult? Yeah, that never happens. Ever. You will NEVER *feel older or adult*. You will always be just you. Embrace it. Make your decisions. Do whatcha need to. Do whatcha want to."
#3–Take the high road. In my early twenties (35 years ago!), I participated in one of those weekend group encounter workshops where we learned communication skills and whatnot. The advice that everything related back to was “Choose what works.” Sometimes, you have to let go of “right” and “wrong” and give the other person what they need so you can both move forward. It remains a guiding principle in my life to this day.