5 Things You Could Stop Giving a Fuck About (at Work)

Before you say yes to that conference call, hear me out.

If you ask a bunch of people what they hate most in life, lots of them are going to say something involving their jobs. Which is not surprising, since otherwise we wouldn’t call it “work,” but rather “remunerative fun.”

On top of that (and highly unfortunately), most of us give waaaaay too many fucks when it comes to said jobs.

UNNECESSARY fucks, that is.

And by “unnecessary,” I mean we’re spending time, energy, and/or money on aspects of our working life that have little to no bearing on whether we are actually doing a good job.

Often, these fucks are expended in the form of worrying about what other people think—and what have I told you about that, time and time again?

You can’t control what other people think. Which means that worrying about whether they do and/or how to make them do it is a waste of your precious fuck bucks.

You can only control YOUR actions and behavior.

And in a professional environment, it’s more important to act and behave in a way that prioritizes “getting your work done” than it is to waste time and energy on stupid shit that’s just dragging you down—up to and including “whether people like you while you’re getting your work done.”

(Sure, it’s nice to be liked, but it’s more useful to be respected; see “The Likability Vortex” in number three below.)

In sum: it’s tough to get fired from a job that you’re doing well. And given all the things you simply must give a fuck about in order to perform your duties at a high level, there’ve got to be a few you could stop giving a fuck about and thereby significantly improve your day-to-day life.

Here are a few off the top of my head.

5 Things You Could Stop Giving a Fuck About at Work

1) Meetings

Yes, some meetings are nonnegotiable if you wish to remain employed. But in my experience, there are plenty that you could bow out of with a little finesse. No harm, no foul.

For example, say a colleague from another part of the company—the Chicago office, perhaps, and you work in San Diego—is coming to town. Some executive assistant is “setting up meetings” wherein this colleague will wander around making the same small talk about the weather and delivering vague commentary on the state of the business in half-hour increments with everyone on your floor.

There are eight meeting slots, says the executive assistant. Which one do you want?

Answer: None of them.

You can just say “Unfortunately, none of those times work for me!” and continue on with your day. I know you’re worried that you’ll get in trouble, and your desire to stay on your boss’s good side has historically overridden your desire to not take such a meeting. But if you’re a competent employee and you know it’s a pointless use of a half hour, I bet your boss knows that too.

Decide not to give that fuck. Some other eager beaver can take one for the team this week!

(Better yet, if you have one of those e-calendars that’s viewable to everyone in the office, just start marking entire days “busy” so nobody even tries to schedule a meeting with you. I’m telling you: finesse.)

BONUS FUCKS NOT GIVEN:

While your attendance at some meetings will be required, if those meetings are black holes of useless chatter and a total fucking waste of your time, you could decide to stop giving a fuck about paying attention. And you can most certainly stop giving a fuck about taking notes.

Let’s be real. Have you ever used the notes you took in a meeting?

Instead of producing a pageful of meaningless doodles, you could spend that time on something you do give a fuck about, and that is a good use of your time. Such as making your grocery list. Or writing the Great American Novel. Or plotting the itinerary for your next bird-watching trip. (Hey, those lesser prairie chickens won’t spot themselves!)

If you’re currently wasting one to five hours a week in pointless meetings, that’s fifty-two to two-hundred-and-sixty hours a YEAR during which you could be doling out your precious fuck bucks for good instead of evil. Just sayin’.

2) Conference calls

Conference calls are meetings held over the phone—or, God help us, over Zoom. They are the perfect storm of nonproductivity: an hour spent waiting for So-and-So to join; checking everyone’s connection; making chit-chat; talking over one another; ten minutes of work-related conversation; everyone saying goodbye to So-and-So when they have to cut out early; and ultimately getting NOTHING accomplished while wasting EVERYONE’S time.