Your post reminded me of the embarrassment I felt each time I pulled out my weekly small wad of tips money, still reeking of the restaurant's dirty dishes bins, to pay for groceries at a store. I still remember that peculiar smell, and that job was decades ago.
"Happiness should not take precedence over some amorphous sense of commitment."
Yes indeed. I’ve recently quit the US, boyfriend, and now my 30-gig in public television. I get it.
I love your writing, your perspective and your sense of humor – all of which lured me into becoming a paid subscriber. And now to pick up some of your books 😊
Portugal, how cool! We’re excited to plan a trip there—lots of friends have been and have nothing but great things to say. Congratulations on the big move(s) and thanks so much for joining the NFG crew 😁
“The job will go on without me.” No truer words have been spoken 👏 It sounds like you have a lot to plan and execute and you’re doing it exactly the way I would--one step at a time. (Decluttering also happens to be my preferred method of calming the fuck down 😂) And at the end of it all you’ll be 3.5 hours closer to your partner--the biggest win of all!
This is something I know I need to make happen in 2024! While my job provides a sense of purpose/great pay and benefits, it has been wrecking my physical/mental health the past few years from stress/bureaucracy. And my partner and I have been long distance (only 3.5 hours, but still) and want to begin our lives together. I know these changes need to happen but it's hard. The job will go on without me, but they've engrained in me that I - and only I - am essential to their successful operation. This is a mental re-programming I need to work on and am taking step one in this relocation process by de-cluttering my house of items that don't need to move with me. It's going to be a challenging year so I am so grateful to have this community to turn to when the going gets tough and I need a little confidence boost and/or to give less fucks!
What memories and emotions this stirs up! I remember reading this years ago, barely out of college and before I had a real career. Now, reading again, I wonder how much it impacted me subconsciously before I could even relate. I stepped back from my full-time career in film/tv this May in pursuit of happiness and purpose and TIME, and what a wild ride of self discovery it's been. Thank you for your words and your example and for bringing this back!
Oh, WOW. That is such an amazing connection and I'm so fascinated that the original post made enough of an impact that you remember it this far down the line. What a world!
I also struggled with “I’m not a quitter”, when I quit my job in May.
I was really lucky and I loved my job, but I felt really strongly that I needed to follow my gut and leave. That month we got news my mum got cancer and I was able to travel and be with her through operations and treatments. Now that things have settled down, I’m thinking “now what”. It feels like the world is my oyster, which is both exhilarating and terrifying! The thought “am I really cut out to be my own boss” passes my mind constantly, after being a cog in different companies since I was a teenager.
Wow, it sounds like your intuition was working overtime there, and landed you in a really good position to be able to spend time with your mom 💛 I totally hear you on the “exhilarating + terrifying” part! The way I look at it, if it turns out that you really don’t love being your own boss, you can always go back to being a cog 😂 When I started thinking about “change” as merely “yet another impermanent thing I can try before I make *another* change,” it got less scary...
It’s definitely a hazard. I’m so anxious about money that I saved up for a YEAR before I quit my job--which I understand not everybody can do. I was also privileged to have a spouse who was working at the time and could potentially absorb some financial shock if my freelancing didn’t work out on the timeline I had planned. Amusingly, things came full circle because once my writing career took off and we moved away from NYC, he quit HIS job...and never got another one 😂
Saving for a year, smart! We just retrenched significantly (it’s amazing how many subscriptions you can mindlessly sign up for). In which book do you cover life after quitting (or substack post?) I’m 6 months in, since quitting, and would love to see what life is like doing the freelance thing etc.
I quit my job and my last day is Wednesday. My scarcity minded, security needing self is scared to death, but I also feel happy, free, and optimistic for the first time in a long time. Having the feeling that I was never good enough and refusing to put myself on a hamster wheel of trying to please unhappy “perfectionists” has made me anxious and sick. Now I feel that I can have a new life!
I hear you loud and clear on the scarcity mindset - it’s so hard to overcome that even if you are objectively able to weather the financial ups and downs of a job transition. Good for you for making a big, scary change!!!
Thanks! To answer your question: my first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, came out in December, 2015. Mark Manson’s book came out in September of 2016 😉
Aha, so timely. I’ve just quit a senior role as a writer at a branding agency because it was toxic and the boss was a bully. He even messaged my personal phone the other day — 6 weeks after I left — to say how ‘disappointed’ he is to read what I’ve posted on Glassdoor after ‘all they’ve done for me’ (I haven’t posted anything). I had nothing to go to but LIFE IS TOO SHORT. I’m now rebuilding my ghostwriting business and couldn’t be happier. My message is don’t walk away from a job that makes you unhappy. Run.
I figure there’s no point in engaging with people like that. I just openly said I hadn’t written anything and it must have been someone else. Moving on!
I’m so glad I stumbled across this! Substack is showing me the magic and I’m here for it. The past few corporate jobs I’ve had have been so hard, so draining. I’ve never been able to bring myself to quit. Bills to pay, responsibilities, career paths, blah, blah, blah. I have silently hoped to be laid off many times, to no avail. My happiness has never been my priority. Thank you for your story and the reminder that we can put ourselves and our happiness first.🩵
Sadly I think that “silently hoping to be laid off” is a popular daydream in Corporate America 🙃 I’m glad you came across the piece and hopefully it will give you a little extra inspiration in the year ahead. Thanks for reading!
I just resigned from my job also for reasons of that deep hole of unhappiness. In the middle of my freaking out, my husband says, "What are you worried about? Just do your thing." His comment was like a Red Bull, gave me wings. Yes terrifying but I know it's the best terrifying decision! Thank you Sarah!
He most definitely is! Support and understanding during this time is everything and he gave it to me 100% I needed your post and to find your work! It was divinity!
I’ve just realised that while I have made lots of questionable (bad) life decisions and often waited far too long to go, I have always been a quitter! I may write my first ever Substack post on that very topic. Thank you for the inspiration!!
Oh my gosh Sarah! I've just come across a restack with this post and the title pulled me in. It was only half way through reading that I thought... wait I know this author! I picked up one of your books about 5 years ago now that kick started my journey to greater wellbeing and quite frankly changed my life. The funny thing is... (and apologies) I forgot all about this. Until now! After reading your books I suddenly realised I was actually SO unhappy, living a life that wasn't ever mine and suddenly quit my PhD, something I'd been working towards for a long time. Safe to say, life isn't perfect (nor should it be) BUT I'm a whole lot happier and more conscious of what I want and that feels way more alive to me. Thanks so much for writing this! Xx
OMG what an amazing coincidence and a story that is music to my ears ☺️ Thank you for this note and for reading my books--I’m so glad they were helpful and I’m just totally tickled that you connected with me here. The universe works in mysterious ways...
Absolutely, I think it's hilarious I've come full circle and connected with you on here. How wild! Thanks Universe! 🙏 I look forward to reading more of your work 🥰💖
I can heavily relate to this! This was me in June 2019 when I decided to quit my dream job to go out on my own. It was one of the most terrifying and best decisions I’ve ever made!
Sarah,
Your post reminded me of the embarrassment I felt each time I pulled out my weekly small wad of tips money, still reeking of the restaurant's dirty dishes bins, to pay for groceries at a store. I still remember that peculiar smell, and that job was decades ago.
"Happiness should not take precedence over some amorphous sense of commitment."
Yes indeed. I’ve recently quit the US, boyfriend, and now my 30-gig in public television. I get it.
I love your writing, your perspective and your sense of humor – all of which lured me into becoming a paid subscriber. And now to pick up some of your books 😊
Signed,
Happily Not Giving A Fuck in Portugal
Portugal, how cool! We’re excited to plan a trip there—lots of friends have been and have nothing but great things to say. Congratulations on the big move(s) and thanks so much for joining the NFG crew 😁
“The job will go on without me.” No truer words have been spoken 👏 It sounds like you have a lot to plan and execute and you’re doing it exactly the way I would--one step at a time. (Decluttering also happens to be my preferred method of calming the fuck down 😂) And at the end of it all you’ll be 3.5 hours closer to your partner--the biggest win of all!
This is something I know I need to make happen in 2024! While my job provides a sense of purpose/great pay and benefits, it has been wrecking my physical/mental health the past few years from stress/bureaucracy. And my partner and I have been long distance (only 3.5 hours, but still) and want to begin our lives together. I know these changes need to happen but it's hard. The job will go on without me, but they've engrained in me that I - and only I - am essential to their successful operation. This is a mental re-programming I need to work on and am taking step one in this relocation process by de-cluttering my house of items that don't need to move with me. It's going to be a challenging year so I am so grateful to have this community to turn to when the going gets tough and I need a little confidence boost and/or to give less fucks!
What memories and emotions this stirs up! I remember reading this years ago, barely out of college and before I had a real career. Now, reading again, I wonder how much it impacted me subconsciously before I could even relate. I stepped back from my full-time career in film/tv this May in pursuit of happiness and purpose and TIME, and what a wild ride of self discovery it's been. Thank you for your words and your example and for bringing this back!
Oh, WOW. That is such an amazing connection and I'm so fascinated that the original post made enough of an impact that you remember it this far down the line. What a world!
I also struggled with “I’m not a quitter”, when I quit my job in May.
I was really lucky and I loved my job, but I felt really strongly that I needed to follow my gut and leave. That month we got news my mum got cancer and I was able to travel and be with her through operations and treatments. Now that things have settled down, I’m thinking “now what”. It feels like the world is my oyster, which is both exhilarating and terrifying! The thought “am I really cut out to be my own boss” passes my mind constantly, after being a cog in different companies since I was a teenager.
Wow, it sounds like your intuition was working overtime there, and landed you in a really good position to be able to spend time with your mom 💛 I totally hear you on the “exhilarating + terrifying” part! The way I look at it, if it turns out that you really don’t love being your own boss, you can always go back to being a cog 😂 When I started thinking about “change” as merely “yet another impermanent thing I can try before I make *another* change,” it got less scary...
I did that but then I just didn’t have any money LOL
It’s definitely a hazard. I’m so anxious about money that I saved up for a YEAR before I quit my job--which I understand not everybody can do. I was also privileged to have a spouse who was working at the time and could potentially absorb some financial shock if my freelancing didn’t work out on the timeline I had planned. Amusingly, things came full circle because once my writing career took off and we moved away from NYC, he quit HIS job...and never got another one 😂
Saving for a year, smart! We just retrenched significantly (it’s amazing how many subscriptions you can mindlessly sign up for). In which book do you cover life after quitting (or substack post?) I’m 6 months in, since quitting, and would love to see what life is like doing the freelance thing etc.
I actually wrote about it on Medium at the time--I should probably move this post to Substack and update it! https://medium.com/the-coffeelicious/90-days-my-rehab-from-corporate-life-98762e15ccda
I resonate with this deeply. I left mine in December for similar reasons and am now finding joy daily in the work I love... writing!
Congratulations!
Thank you! Look forward to reading more of your work :)
I quit my job and my last day is Wednesday. My scarcity minded, security needing self is scared to death, but I also feel happy, free, and optimistic for the first time in a long time. Having the feeling that I was never good enough and refusing to put myself on a hamster wheel of trying to please unhappy “perfectionists” has made me anxious and sick. Now I feel that I can have a new life!
I hear you loud and clear on the scarcity mindset - it’s so hard to overcome that even if you are objectively able to weather the financial ups and downs of a job transition. Good for you for making a big, scary change!!!
Inspiring and insightful! ❤️ Just wondering who used the F word in titles first, you or Mark Manson?
Thanks! To answer your question: my first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, came out in December, 2015. Mark Manson’s book came out in September of 2016 😉
Aha, so timely. I’ve just quit a senior role as a writer at a branding agency because it was toxic and the boss was a bully. He even messaged my personal phone the other day — 6 weeks after I left — to say how ‘disappointed’ he is to read what I’ve posted on Glassdoor after ‘all they’ve done for me’ (I haven’t posted anything). I had nothing to go to but LIFE IS TOO SHORT. I’m now rebuilding my ghostwriting business and couldn’t be happier. My message is don’t walk away from a job that makes you unhappy. Run.
Ewww what a sucker punch. What do you write back?
I figure there’s no point in engaging with people like that. I just openly said I hadn’t written anything and it must have been someone else. Moving on!
Nice!!
Oh UGH. Sounds like you made the right call!
I’m so glad I stumbled across this! Substack is showing me the magic and I’m here for it. The past few corporate jobs I’ve had have been so hard, so draining. I’ve never been able to bring myself to quit. Bills to pay, responsibilities, career paths, blah, blah, blah. I have silently hoped to be laid off many times, to no avail. My happiness has never been my priority. Thank you for your story and the reminder that we can put ourselves and our happiness first.🩵
Sadly I think that “silently hoping to be laid off” is a popular daydream in Corporate America 🙃 I’m glad you came across the piece and hopefully it will give you a little extra inspiration in the year ahead. Thanks for reading!
I just resigned from my job also for reasons of that deep hole of unhappiness. In the middle of my freaking out, my husband says, "What are you worried about? Just do your thing." His comment was like a Red Bull, gave me wings. Yes terrifying but I know it's the best terrifying decision! Thank you Sarah!
Sounds like your husband is a keeper!
He most definitely is! Support and understanding during this time is everything and he gave it to me 100% I needed your post and to find your work! It was divinity!
💓💓💓
@Kristina Delgado !!! Signs all around! 🪷
I’ve just realised that while I have made lots of questionable (bad) life decisions and often waited far too long to go, I have always been a quitter! I may write my first ever Substack post on that very topic. Thank you for the inspiration!!
Oh, that sounds like an awesome idea!!!
Oh my gosh Sarah! I've just come across a restack with this post and the title pulled me in. It was only half way through reading that I thought... wait I know this author! I picked up one of your books about 5 years ago now that kick started my journey to greater wellbeing and quite frankly changed my life. The funny thing is... (and apologies) I forgot all about this. Until now! After reading your books I suddenly realised I was actually SO unhappy, living a life that wasn't ever mine and suddenly quit my PhD, something I'd been working towards for a long time. Safe to say, life isn't perfect (nor should it be) BUT I'm a whole lot happier and more conscious of what I want and that feels way more alive to me. Thanks so much for writing this! Xx
OMG what an amazing coincidence and a story that is music to my ears ☺️ Thank you for this note and for reading my books--I’m so glad they were helpful and I’m just totally tickled that you connected with me here. The universe works in mysterious ways...
Absolutely, I think it's hilarious I've come full circle and connected with you on here. How wild! Thanks Universe! 🙏 I look forward to reading more of your work 🥰💖
I can heavily relate to this! This was me in June 2019 when I decided to quit my dream job to go out on my own. It was one of the most terrifying and best decisions I’ve ever made!
I'm so glad to hear this! Terrifying, indeed, but worth it in the end.
Without a doubt!