No F*cks Given® Newsletter | 1.11.24

Mega deals, German words, and kittens in the roof

Welcome to my monthly(-ish) newsletter roundup, featuring deals, links, news, and random AF musings from me to you. If you’d like to receive regular weekly tips and other perks for my paid subscribers, you can upgrade here at any time.

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My favorite fucklings, I hope January is treating you well so far, despite <gestures at everything>

As for me, I’m just a girl, sitting on her couch, simultaneously excited about having a new episode of Fargo to watch tonight and already disappointed that after I watch it, I will have to wait another whole week for the next one.

There must be a German word for the feeling when you realize that, in the age of abundantly binge-able prestige TV, there are still shows that force you to watch on a positively Neanderthalic slow-drip schedule.

(I haven’t found such a word, but I did do a bit of Googling and discovered fremdscham, which is the feeling of embarrassment that comes when you witness someone else do something embarrassing—also known as what everyone in the audience experienced watching Jo Koy host the Golden Globes.)

That monologue. Wow. Just, wow.

Ooh! Speaking of “potentially alienating content,” please bear with me, for I am experimenting with the placement of the following housekeeping section. On the one hand, I don’t want to bore my longtime readers with an eye-glazing recap every month; on the other hand, if you’re new here, I’d love for you to know what you’re getting into sooner rather than later.

So…I guess just glaze your way down to the next snazzy red banner if you already know how this works, and for everyone else, FYI:

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SOME HOUSEKEEPING

Hi! You’re currently reading the No F*cks Given® Newsletter. It’s a free, monthly-ish roundup for fans who want to keep up with me, my books and events, etc. I’ve been sending it for seven years, and when I moved my mailing list from Mailchimp to Substack, the newsletter came with.

But I also started a whole new venture on Substack called No F*cks Given® with Sarah Knight. More than just a newsletter, NFGwSK is the online home for all of my work and includes weekly posts, tips from across my universe of sweary expertise, private discussion threads with moi, personal essays, and other exclusive perks for paid subscribers who—and this is key—receive everything directly to their inbox. No muss, no fuss.

If you’d like to join the crew and support my work, you can upgrade any time. An all-access pass to No F*cks Given® is $7/month or $70 if you commit to a year ←which works out to $5.83/month because you get a volume discount. How about them apples?

If you prefer to stick with the free subscription, that’s cool too! I’m delighted to have you here; I just wanted to be clear about what you get (or, um, don’t get) on the free plan.

So that’s the scoop.

Now, back to our regularly(-ish) scheduled newsletter: as usual, the deals, news, and links are sprinkled throughout, and your NFG Quote of the Week lives at the end.

What’s up?

Things have been quieter around here since my last update—no floods or intestinal parasites to report, which is exactly how I like to start my year. I did, however, have to evict a couple of cats from our roof, which was a test of both my feral feline-wrangling skills and the promise I made to my husband that I would not be adopting any more cats.

THEY WERE SO PRECIOUS.

It was a mom cat (henceforth known as “Mama Cass”) and her kitten (yes, thank god, only one), and I discovered them a few days before Christmas when a strange noise led me to investigate outside, walking around the house, peering up into the trees, and eventually taking the stairs to the roof where I found the bébé mewling its ADORABLE little head off.

Uh oh. I knew my husband was not going to like this.

“Babe!” I shouted. “It’s a kitten! On the roof!”

I approached this EXQUISITE CREATURE slowly, so as not to frighten it, and out from under the eaves burst Mama Cass, hissing like she meant it. (There’s a narrow balcony up there that is far too hot/small for us to hang out on, but apparently there was plenty of room for someone to give birth.)

Fuck. “Um, actually, there’s a cat AND a kitten!”

Here’s the thing: I already have two, shall we say, unauthorized cats that my husband tolerates but has expressly forbidden me from “providing with new friends.” And now that I know if you feed a stray cat, like, twice, you become the proud owner of a forever-cat, I knew I couldn’t take care of these two for any length of time, lest they become dependent on me.

(And, fine, me on them.)

So I hardened my heart and let nature take its course until such time as I might trap them and get them to the vet. Mama Cass would leave the yard in search of food once or twice a day, and if I saw her go, I’d check to see if the kitten was still up there and not in distress. I kept an eye on them until it seemed like the kitten was old enough to be separated from mom (in the event that I wasn’t able to catch them both), and then steeled myself for battle.

Getting my still-half-feral cat Gladys Knight into a carrier, which I’ve had to do twice, has historically involved two days of trying to catch her, a lot of blood (mine), cursing (also mine), and eventually a dose of kitty tranqs in her tuna. Fortunately, Mama Cass went easily, lured by a can of Friskies turkey n’ giblets—I guess postpartum starvation will do that to ya. Sorry, girl.

She wasn’t thrilled when I slammed the cage door shut, but hey, my roof, my rules.

I got the kitten wrapped up in a towel and into a tote bag (ADORBS) and brought them both to the vet to be fixed, vaxxed, and fed and boarded until they can be adopted by a nice person who doesn’t already have two unauthorized cats and who wishes to remain happily married throughout 2024.

Thumb for scale

I still can’t believe I had the fortitude to let this little buddy out of my grasp. SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS MY MEDAL???

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NFG DEALS

I have two positively bangin’ deals to report today. First, in the UK and its environs:

• The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck is the Kindle Monthly Deal for Amazon UK. Just 99p in ebook throughout January!

And in the US:

• ALL of my books and journals are on sale for 20% off! Just shop direct from my publisher’s website at HachetteBookGroup.com and use the code NEWYEAR24 at checkout. Sale ends January 15th.

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What else?

Last year, I was deep into my feelz about the writing I’d always wanted to do before I got sidetracked by a surprise (and it must be said, surprisingly wonderful) career as a sweary self-help guru, when I happened to see

Rebecca Makkai

promote an upcoming class for Story Studio Chicago called “The Novelist’s Toolkit.”

So I impulse-registered, and I just finished up the final session this week.

I was attracted by the fact that this wasn’t a workshop class—meaning, I wouldn’t have to produce pages and/or get them critiqued. (Part of the aforementioned feelz involved extreme burnout from the book-a-year publishing schedule I’d been on since 2015; suffice to say, I was not ready to add a new set of wordcount-related deadlines to my life.) Instead, it was a six-week series of lectures on the various steps it takes to write a novel, from conception all the way through to revision (and then more revision) ((and then even more revision)).

By the end, I felt like I’d gained a lot of helpful perspective in a serious yet low-pressure environment. If she teaches this course again, I’d definitely recommend it to anyone who already has a novel in progress or who, like me, wants to do a little recon before they dive in.

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NFG LINKS

• One of my favorite podcast interviews I’ve ever done on not giving a fuck was with the fabulous Irish journalist and presenter Síle Seoige, and it’s perfect for a New Year pep talk. Listen HERE.

Some posts you may have missed if you’re new here:

• Why I Quit My Job (And What Happened Next)

• What if There is Nothing Wrong with You?: A mindset shift to start your New Year off right

• The What/Why Method for Setting Goals: An easy-peasy shortcut for anyone who’s ever thought I don’t even know where to begin.

• Whatever Works, Bitches! (or “How I cured my chronic back pain in the weirdest possible way”)

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Book recommendations

As longtime subscribers know, I like to use this newsletter to shout-out my recent favorite reads. I don’t take requests or PR trades or anything like that—whatever I recommend is because I truly enjoyed it and think other people will too.

Fiction:

• Yellowface by R.F. Kuang. My favorite book of 2023, for its provocative premise, spot-on satirization (or is it?) of the publishing world, and can’t-look-away slow-motion car crash of a plot. Loved it.

• Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll. The story is based on Ted Bundy’s serial killing spree at a Florida sorority house in 1978, but it’s told from the points of view of the women whose lives he ended. Knoll never even uses the killer’s name, a device that’s more damning than anything she could put on the page. Sensational, gripping, vivid storytelling—this novel is even better than her acclaimed debut Luckiest Girl Alive.

• Prom Mom by Laura Lippman. I’ve been a Lippman devotee since I read Sunburn in 2019, and it’s always a pleasure to dip into her extensive catalogue when I want to be assured of a great read with a savage twist. Prom Mom delivered on both counts. (PSA: She’s on Substack as

  Shaved Meats, Piled High
  and she’s going to be contributing to
  Oldster Magazine
  this year. LOOK THE FUCK OUT.)

Nonfiction:

• Glossy: Ambition, Beauty, and the Inside Story of Emily Weiss’s Glossier by Marisa Meltzer. I wasn’t expecting to be so compelled by the story of a startup beauty company and the extra-Millennial founder who built it into a billion-dollar brand in less than five years. And yet! Part business narrative, part celeb profile, this was an educational and entertaining read. (I also really enjoyed Meltzer’s previous book, This is Big: How the Founder of Weight Watchers Changed the World - And Me.)

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And that’ll do it for this monthly(-ish) installment of the NFGN. Thanks for reading, and until next time: I see you, I appreciate you, and I hope you’re out there giving fewer, better fucks and living your best life!

Sarah

PS: If you’re looking for further inspiration for your tbr pile, I catalogued my entire 2023 year in books HERE.

PPS: On January 4th I did a Thursday Thread for paid subscribers where I asked everyone to tell me the best thing that happened to them in 2023. (Mine was finding out that there is an eleven-year-old boy somewhere in New England who read You Do You and is now a Sarah Knight superfan. Be still my cold, dead heart.)

I’ll be hosting another private discussion thread next week; upgrade before then and you’ll get an email when it goes live, with a link to join the conversation.

NFG QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Thinking about the consequences of saying yes will help you take the action of saying no. Stop. Visualize. And maybe don’t give that fuck.”

—The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck

Reminder: 20% off on all the No F*cks Given® Guides, now through January 15th!