Productive Helpful Effective Worrying (PHEW!)

It's one way to transform your anxiety into action.

Well hellooooo my gentle fucklings. How are thee? I confess it has been a very long week around here and I’m not at my most guru-like, but it is NFG-tip Monday and so onward we march!

I’ll write more about recent events in my next NFG Newsletter roundup but suffice it to say, calming the fuck down has been a challenge lately—even for a gal who wrote the literal book on it.

As such, I thought that perhaps giving YOU some of my best advice on that score might help ME remember to take it. Stranger things have happened!

I call today’s tip “Productive Helpful Effective Worrying” (PHEW), and it’s designed to help you channel anxiety into action.

(The awesome acronym is just an extra perk.)

Phew!

If you’re new here, check out the NFG archive for fun and practical tips drawn from my bestselling series of sweary self-help books, collectively known as the No F*cks Given® Guides. If you like what you find, I’d love to see you subscribe. We have fun.

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First things first: we begin the calming-the-fuck-down process by asking The One Question to Rule Them All.

Can I control it?

If the answer is no, then ideally you ought to let it go; “it” being the worries that are swarming your mind like ants on a dropped ice cream cone. And though this may sound easier said than done, I promise it is possible to “let it go” some or even most of the time—with a mindful approach, plenty of practice, a bit of luck, and perhaps a smidge of benzodiazepines in your back pocket.¹

(Not for nothing, I wrote about The One Q back in January, along with three tips for stopping a freakout in its tracks.)

When you have no control over whatever it is that’s sending, about to send, or has already sent you ‘round the mental bend, the idea is to calm down and thereby CONSERVE your most precious resources—time, energy, and money—saving them instead for dealing with any and all shit you can control, now and in the future.

(In my book Calm the Fuck Down I refer to T, E, and M as your “freakout funds.” In my other books I call them your “fuck bucks.” It’s the same idea, but I like a little variety in my silly nomenclature.)

Spending them wisely—taking clear, focused action—can help you mitigate and perhaps even solve your problems.

Or, you know, you could blow ‘em all on unpleasant and pointless catastrophizing, freaking out and flailing about with no real end goal in mind.

When I put it that way, worrying doesn’t sound very productive, does it?

(Or helpful.)

(Or effective.)

Evolution of a freakout, from Calm the Fuck Down

Indeed, most of the worrying we do is wasteful. It costs too much and gives us nothing in return, except perhaps a nice case of hives. You know you shouldn’t do it—I know I shouldn’t do it—but sometimes we just can’t help ourselves.

So, what if you could flip the script and use that worry for good instead of evil?