This flowchart is next-level awesome. As is this whole post. I wholly support people making their own framework like this, based on critical thinking — aka “cold hard logic” — instead of collaborating in their own oppression. Because we deserve to reclaim our time for better stuff. Like writing and hanging out with cats in a fishing village in the Caribbean, which sounds truly awesome.
Love the flowchart! I’ve had to learn in life that if it’s not an immediate and resounding yes, then it’s an automatic no (or at least not now). I’ll likely refer to the flowchart just for a good laugh when I feel the need to rationalize saying no 😂
Oooh I do love a good flow chart! This is excellent. What about - I can do X, I feel like I should, people are pressurising me into doing X; I don't want to do X, I know I don't have to, but it MAY help to achieve Y in the future???
I’m going to stop you on “I don’t want to do X.” That’s your answer 😂
If you think that doing it might help you achieve something in the future, and that something is important to you, then you’ve changed your own answer—you DO “want to” because of the results you think/hope it might engender.
But that line of thinking is a slippery slope; it’s important to question whether this amorphous possibility of a good thing further down the line is truly REALISTIC and DESIRED, or if it’s just a way for your inner Yes-Men to get one over on you 😉
That's wonderful, thank you. I didn't want to act like you're an agony aunt giving out free advice, but the original story is a little funny.
I'm writing a memoir on my substack, Wild Writing with Sanjida, and I asked a relatively famous writer if I could interview them. Their mum replied on their behalf and booked me an appointment. I said, to help get the interview and be nice - maybe I could help this writer, who is running a charity for kids, and offer them a writing workshop. I explained I might be able to get funding to pay for running a writing workshop and we could discuss it.
The mother replied to say she was sending 45 primary school children to my house over Easter and required two, back-to-back, workshops. LOL (I did say no to that!)
Funny! Laughed and then printed. I'm in on your chart. The problem is guilt. I feel like I should say yes to so many things and later...I'm spitting mad. So...thank you.
I hear you, but a lot of people have trouble with that two-letter word. Hopefully my books and charts and tips and strategies can help them get to a place of ease and comfort with setting (and ENFORCING) boundaries...and a flowchart never hurts!
Sarah I just love these flowcharts. I honestly do use one that you published a few months ago - I have a screenshot of it and occasionally refer to it just to check the situation 🤣
Wonderful. I now have a new flowchart to live my life by. I fucking love this!
Woo-hoo! That’s what I like to hear 🥳
This flowchart is next-level awesome. As is this whole post. I wholly support people making their own framework like this, based on critical thinking — aka “cold hard logic” — instead of collaborating in their own oppression. Because we deserve to reclaim our time for better stuff. Like writing and hanging out with cats in a fishing village in the Caribbean, which sounds truly awesome.
Thank you! Logic is my favorite way to fly 😉
Love the flowchart! I’ve had to learn in life that if it’s not an immediate and resounding yes, then it’s an automatic no (or at least not now). I’ll likely refer to the flowchart just for a good laugh when I feel the need to rationalize saying no 😂
Thanks! I agree: if it’s not an immediate, enthusiastic “Hell yes!” then that usually means it’s a “Fuck no!” 😂
This is great!
Thank you!
Oooh I do love a good flow chart! This is excellent. What about - I can do X, I feel like I should, people are pressurising me into doing X; I don't want to do X, I know I don't have to, but it MAY help to achieve Y in the future???
I’m going to stop you on “I don’t want to do X.” That’s your answer 😂
If you think that doing it might help you achieve something in the future, and that something is important to you, then you’ve changed your own answer—you DO “want to” because of the results you think/hope it might engender.
But that line of thinking is a slippery slope; it’s important to question whether this amorphous possibility of a good thing further down the line is truly REALISTIC and DESIRED, or if it’s just a way for your inner Yes-Men to get one over on you 😉
That's wonderful, thank you. I didn't want to act like you're an agony aunt giving out free advice, but the original story is a little funny.
I'm writing a memoir on my substack, Wild Writing with Sanjida, and I asked a relatively famous writer if I could interview them. Their mum replied on their behalf and booked me an appointment. I said, to help get the interview and be nice - maybe I could help this writer, who is running a charity for kids, and offer them a writing workshop. I explained I might be able to get funding to pay for running a writing workshop and we could discuss it.
The mother replied to say she was sending 45 primary school children to my house over Easter and required two, back-to-back, workshops. LOL (I did say no to that!)
😳😳😳
This sounds truly insane. I wonder if this anon writer knows that their mum is taking the p!
I know, insane! Imagine 45 kids arriving at your house at Easter. Yikes!
Funny! Laughed and then printed. I'm in on your chart. The problem is guilt. I feel like I should say yes to so many things and later...I'm spitting mad. So...thank you.
You are most welcome!
Replace Can you do it with What's in it for me : ) I'm joking of course Sarah thank you
The whole thing is fucking crazy. Just say no. Or is you have to, fuck off. Flow charts are not necessary. Simply your life with plain no.
I hear you, but a lot of people have trouble with that two-letter word. Hopefully my books and charts and tips and strategies can help them get to a place of ease and comfort with setting (and ENFORCING) boundaries...and a flowchart never hurts!
Sarah I just love these flowcharts. I honestly do use one that you published a few months ago - I have a screenshot of it and occasionally refer to it just to check the situation 🤣
I love to hear it, thank you! They are sized well for a mobile phone background image ;-)
Very handy! I need to create a NF folder...
We could all do with a NF folder :-)
Yes we really could